Crystal Heart

She was confused. Confused and sad. This little drop of confusion had been nagging her at the back of her mind, continuously. Like a parasite, it had been latched onto her thoughts, hurting her without her full knowledge until it came to breaking point. She didn't know. She had to figure out what was wrong.

She loved him. She did. But her confusion and fear of losing him masked it. Every time she traveled in her memory to the times she spent with him, tears sprang into her eyes. She was happy. He was happy. He had called her his "darling". He had told her that he adored her, just the way she was. But now? Did he love her still?Yes he did, she thought.But not in the same way. It had changed. It had all changed.

Her hand fit perfectly in his. She was the lock and he was the key when he held her in his arms. They fit so well. She spent some of her happiest moments with him. The kisses he traced on her forehead conveyed so much.

But now?

She stared at herself in the mirror. She wasn't a magazine beauty and yet she had a mystic allure in her own way. She had a voluptuous figure and soft cheeks which accentuated her slightly pouting mouth. Her best feature, out of all, was her eyes. They glimmered, a dark coffee brown, twinkling with wisdom beyond her age, glittering with warmth and naive, innocent, vulnerable love. Shining specially for him, conveying a vista of thoughts he understood.

He used to understand

Does he anymore? She was doubtful.
And yet, here she was, loving him with all her heart even though the world was throwing a million contradictory reasons and well sensed arguments at her.

Why?

Why does she still love him? Why does she still love him when she is not sure whether he loves her back in the same way anymore? Even she herself couldn't understand that.

She wanted his love. She did not need it, but she wanted it. She was getting it, but not in the way she wanted. Not in the amounts she wanted. His attention was divided. He had less time for her. Yet, in her naive, unselfish heart, open heart, she forgave him for all that. She was turning into a doormat in his life. She's fading into faint memory. Yet, when she tried to let go, he would tighten his grip at the last minute and pull her back up, wanting her again in his life.

So what was she to do?

It was a fork in the road. Which one should she take?

It was tough navigating the choppy, rough water of life. It was harder when one had no means to stay afloat.

They met. The usual place. The place that was a sacred coven of memories to them.

His hand in hers melted her heart, but she fought off the feeling. She did not need anymore distractions. She did not need more inflicted on her soon to be broken heart.

They stopped.

It was just one sentence. She took a deep breath. One simple sentence.
He was not much taller than her, but she looked up to his beautiful eyes. She felt her heart crack into a million pieces, into small shards as she said

"If you love me, let me know. If you don't, gently let me go"

Silence.
The grey area between yes and no.

Their gaze, locked on each other, never wavered. Neither broke away.

Her heart was like a piece of paper caught in a tight fist. It was getting crushed. It was breaking. A torturous break. Piece by piece, breaking off slowly.

But she had a spacious heart. A big heart.

"Let me go. Don't hurt me" she pleaded.

Another piece of her heart fell off as the silence grew longer.

She has such a beautiful heart.

So like soft crystal in a world of hard glass, the way her heart shattered into glistening, diamond like pieces at that moment was beautiful.

Painful.

Yet beautiful.






"What do you do when the person who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it?