Friday, April 16, 2010

Roofies IV: Cultural Crap


This  was something that was circulating in my head for quite a while now, but I never got around to putting it down on paper, until it was spurred on by a conversation I had with a certain individual at 3 am today.

Sex = Taboo.

But why?
Our people are hush hush about sex and it's a tabooed topic. No one talks of it and the very vague mention of it is enough to elicit a "Budu ammo" from people. I, for one believe that tabooing this is the main problem. It is, in fact, the root cause of many problems.

Okay, let's take for instance that fact that we have neglected sex education in our public school system. Why? Because it's a "naraka" topic. Wouldn't including Sex Ed in our education system mean that less girls are vulnerable to rape and such? And when such an instance occurs, they would be informed and knowing what to do and what steps to take? Keeping children informed of these matters would mean that boys and girls alike would in fact be diligent before doing anything. It's the lack of information that makes people curious. If one was to be informed, curiosity melts to a certain degree.

The continued choke hold pertaining to sex and other matters(specially on girls) would definitely mean dire consequences. Witness the suicidal death of a girl months previously. It was the conservative strange of the parents, fueled by the death grip of the school's conservativeness that led to such a tragedy. People wonder why my school has so many lesbians [yes I admit it myself]. There's nothing to wonder when the school is SO set in their "Sinhala Buddhist" ways that a girl is not even allowed to LOOK at a boy. What does this do? Like I said, curiosity occurs and these girls want to know things since they are uninformed? They have no boys to turn to, so they turn to girls. Is it any wonder?

This is especially true in rural communities. A young, uninformed couple turn to each other to explore their curiosity and what happens? Likely that the girl winds up pregnant with an unwanted child and the boy is sent off to work somewhere, far far away from the girl. Isn't it better to give exposure than risk this?
For those of living here in Colombo, we do not see this much because our parents are open minded and are slow to judge us. Even so, the issue still persists.

Next, let us say that girl A and boy X were "having an affair". Somewhere along the line, they decide to take a step towards the physical aspect of their relationship. Let us say that both A and X were informed about the implications and complications of sex and have decided on contraception. They are working diligently thus far right?

Now comes the catch. WHERE in this country can a girl step into a drug store and ask for a morning after pill freely? Where will such a girl NOT receive a glare? In which part of the country would the person behind the counter think "Oh my God, what a slut".

Why? Why is it so? Because our culture has made people too judgmental for their own good. And because of this, the populace is a GLORIFIED tribute to hypocrisy. Isn't it better to have safe sex and not get pregnant? Why is that contraception is not available to the public sans taboo?

Omg, she's a not a virgin = Omg she's a slut

Yes, it is true. We all know this. Our people think that just because a girl isn't a virgin, it makes her a slut. JUDGEMENTAL MUCH?. What about rape then? Does one shun a rape victim as a slut too? People need to buy pocket dictionaries. A slut is the term used for a woman who sleeps around with many men. One girl who has had many boyfriends is not a slut. Our little Sri Lankan boys, they learn words like "bitch" or "slut" or "whore" and use it on girls who have had 3 boyfriends and such. OMG, yes, she had three shitty relationships, she's a slut. *cue roll eyes*

And this whole player thing. One guy cannot flirt with several girls at a given time. He is henceforth banded a "player". I mean, seriously, people need to get their definitions straight for once!

Coming to this whole virginity thing, there is something that pisses me off very much. There are certain types of guys out there who sleep around with as much women as possible and then expect to marry a virgin. Let me tell you something buddy, stop being such a ducking hypocrite. If you sleep around, expect to marry a woman who has done the same. Why should one be setting his standards so high that not even he himself can't reach it?

Our culture taboos someone who is not a virgin. This is the worst thing to do seeing how virginity is not a measure of a woman or a man. It does not define their persona. Some of you might be confused. I do not say encourage promiscuity. I say encourage people not to be judgmental. I don't say it's okay to sleep around with everyone. I just say that if one does have sex, he or she shouldn't be made to feel as if their life is over [unless they end up with AIDS which literally means death].


The Perfect Family.

The typical hypocritical conversation goes:

Mrs A: Ammooo, do you know about Mrs. C's son?
Mrs B: Why why what happened?
Mrs A: Don't say I told this okay? That boy failed his OLs no
Mrs B: You don't say!
Mrs A: Yes men! It's the truth.
Mrs B: Anyway Mrs C's daughter, did you see what she was wearing that day?
Mrs A: Budu ammo! Her skirt was so short!
Mrs B: I'm of course not surprised. The mother and father are always fighting no.
Mrs A: And the father is always out at dinner parties no.
Mrs B: Yes men! The mother is the same
Mrs A: Wonder how much that saree she wore cost no?


Does this sound familiar? There is SO MUCH WRONG in the above conversation that I can't even begin to state them down in an orderly fashion. Firstly, people need to learn to mind their own business. So Mrs C's son failed an exam. It's Mrs C's concern, no elses. So, a child has divorced parents. It's their problem, not anyone elses. I cannot comprehend why people cannot mind their own business.

The fact of the matter is that our culture makes us judgmental and this is hypocrisy, specially if one is a Buddhist and is true to the religion.

Some of you might say that I am hypocrite. I said that I am not judgmental and you might say that I am being judgmental by thinking like this about our culture. To those who think that, please allow me to be clear. Being judgmental is when one is set in their ways and are not likely to change, stating what they believe is right and berating people who don't follow the same values.

This, what I have penned, is a voicing of my volatile personal opinion. Please not the word "personal". Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Having said that, it is why I don't judge people for being conservative or promiscuous. It is purely their choice. I have my personal opinion on the issues, but it does not mean that I am right. However, it is my personal opinion. And as I said, it's a volatile opinion. Opinions are subject to change easily rather than judgment. Who know when this stated opinion of mine would change?

I am not saying that we should don armor and try to change the culture of our country. Our culture is rich and is bursting with diversity and I love certain aspects of our culture. However, everything has a good and a bad. I as an individual do not agree with the uber-conservative nature of our culture, but I very much appreciate how much our culture has influenced me, specially in terms of creativity.

I am not stating that we should change things and battle it out and make this another USA. I am saying that if everyone who are set in their ways opened their minds a little, our country would be an easier place to live in. This goes to people at BOTH extremes, not just one.

But hey.. this is just my opinion on things :)









Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Kissing Frogs



You were a tadpole, an insignificant tadpole out of millions. You were in the murky waters that you called life and you were swimming around, half blind and meeting death around each bend, your life having the guarantee of vanishing any second. And yet as you tangled up in the reeds like millions of your siblings who met their ends in the same way, I saved you. I saved you from a fate much worse than just a mere enemy. From the millions I could have saved, it was you I chose to nurture. It was you I picked out from the indistinct watery depths and it was you I saved in my little glass jar to take home with me.
I cared enough. I cared enough to find you my empty fish tank and assemble it so that you can live. I treasured you so much that I made you a comfortable home on my window sill, in that glowing glass tank with pebbles and reeds to match your liking. Was it not enough?

I loved you. I loved you enough to place you in a sunny spot on my window sill so that you can sit on a pool of molten gold sunlight and sunbathe, and I would watch you, entranced and enthralled as the million colors of the sun struck off your beautiful skin and formed the spectrum of our universe like some heavenly being. I was caught in your magic, in your beauty and design.

It was my love that made you grow. Day by day, my love made you stronger. You grew, from a tiny tadpole to a beautiful imperial frog. You skin had all the browns on autumn, all the golds of summer and all the greens of spring. Your colors glistened, glittered and glimmered, making me love you more. Yet, there was a wall that separated us.

How could I not love you? You, this beautiful thing that made my life so blissful, how could I not love it? And that itself was the root of my mistake. Love. I was so blinded by my love for you, I couldn’t see you for what you were. Then you tell me that there is only one thing that was truly keeping apart. A touch of my lips were all you needed to truly be with me, and to love you back just like I loved you.

I was a dullard. A blinded idiosyncratic fool. I kissed that forehead of yours, hoping that at least now, you would be mine. For they say that a kiss on the forehead signifies a bond of forever.

How more wrong could I have been?

You morphed into a beautiful prince. The moment my blessed lips touched you, you became this beautiful prince, with your beautiful eyes, breathtaking countenance.  The entrancing aura and ambience about you was ambrosia to my soul. I stared at you hungrily because I could never get enough of you. You were my sun, the centre of my galaxy. You whispered words of eternity in my ears. Did I believe you? It’s poignant to say I did. Your smile was heartrendingly beautiful and your touch even more.

I closed my eyes. A mere fraction of a second, I closed my eyes, to take it all in. To absorb the overwhelming sense of happiness, thinking to myself that you love back. When I opened my eyes….

….you were gone.

You were in the arms of another woman. A fraction of a second was all it took for you to leave the person who loved you for so long and cared for you. To leave the person who salvaged your battered life and gave you the kiss of life which made you into who you are.

Was I heartbroken? I suppose. Yet, more than heart ache, what lived inside me was disgust. Disgust and disbelief. Disgust that such a beautiful looking thing with a diamond facet of colors could do something so full of spite. Disbelief that you could be so heartless towards the person who loved you more than anything.

I took my leave. While you were being kissed and cuddled by another woman, I exited the stage. Did you remember the way I comforted you and held you to me? Does it feel the same? Does she say your name the same way I did? It doesn’t matter anymore though.
I thank you though. I learned so much. I learned so much that I could add to my life. Thanks to you, I would not make the same mistake twice.

Frogs come and frogs go. Us fools, blinded by what was and what will be and not seeing what is kiss these frogs. Yet, frogs will always be frogs. They won’t be princes. They may look like valiant knights, yet deep down, they are frogs. A true prince never was and never will be a frog.

You were a frog. And that is what you shall always be. 













Tuesday, April 06, 2010

People like me


People like me are scarce under the sun
We thrive on the lost art of good clean fun
We'll never be done when we start to talk
We can while away and evening on a lazy walk
We're not boring, oh not at all
We can keep you interested, winter or fall
People like me, we love to entertain
Although, admittedly we are insane
We fish out a topic and start a debate
We're ready made clowns, yes it's our fate
People like me are, ahem, refine
People like me are hard to find
We love romance stories, the cheesy ones
We're subtly sarcastic, talking in puns
We love to joke around, people like me
We always qualify as excellent company
People like me, we could land you in jail
And try to take you out without posting a bail
People like me, we're smart, fun and kind
Our type on Earth has vastly declined
We loves to make chaos and make it right again
Some people simply call us a pain
Oh those silly people, what do they know
They're simply stupid, inefficient, slow
People like me, we have mothers who tell
"Child, one day, you will surely go to hell"
People like me are extremely rare
People like me, we need good care
We are not threatned by silly little things
We face it with pride, whatever the future brings
We hold our chins up with graceful dignity
Oh wouldn't you love to be a person like me?


 








"I ain't gonna do a thing that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside"
- Weezer, Pork and Beans

Musing


I will always be yours.
Always.
Just hug me and don't let go.
I want to hold on to you and break down into the tears that I have been keeping
Just keep your hands around me and don't let go.
Please don't, I need someone to hold on to.
Just let me cry my tears onto your shoulder.
I want to hear your heart beat as proof that I can hold onto you.
Just stroke my head and let me cry.
Hold me in your arms, don't let me go.
I'm helpless.
I'm confused.
I'm lost.
Comfort me, just comfort me.
Say everything is okay when I know its not, because just to hear you say that is amazing
Call me from your nick names
Tell me stories.
I need someone to hold on to.
Kiss my forehead.
Wipe my tears and let me cry again.
Listen to me as I talk about Mom and Dad.
Kiss me.
Kiss me as I cry.
Kiss me when I push you away.
Hold me close to you and hug me.
I'm yours to keep.
Kiss me when I wont let you.
Stroke my hair and kiss me again.
Hold me tightly, don't let me go.
I'm scared, don't let go.
Lace my fingers with your warm ones.
Listen to my heart beat and let me stroke your head.
Hold my hand and never let go.
Tell me that you love me.
Tell me that I'm your flighty little nutcase
I need someone to hold on to.
Tell me that you love me over again.
Say it to me over and over again.
Say that you love me till I break down and cry.
Say that you love me till I kiss you back.
Tell me that you love me till I say I love you back.
Kiss me.
Tell me that you love me.

Monday, April 05, 2010

O


O, is that your nose running?
Here, I caught it

O, is that the sound of your heart drumming?
Here, I tamed it

O, is that your tummy aching?
Here, I'll soothe it

O, is that your hand shaking?
Here, I'll relax it

O, is that your throat so sore?
Here, I'll heal it

O, is that you asking for more?
Well there's, no need to ask...
When you have me at hand (and at heart)...

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Shades.


A multifaceted emerald?

It has no name.. just a glow.

The beautiful shades in a whirl.

A calm quiet blue, a slight green tinge

Light, soft, ever fading into moonlight

Like mist on a forest fringe

Catching the lights with flecks of gold

Like drops of happiness and warmth

Like the face of a young girl bold

The aqua of a rainy morning glow

Fresh, crisp, and so new

Shades changing, shining slow

The browns of autumn leaves fall

Ocher, amber, orange and red

The colours of a lovers call

The green of new leaves of a canopy ahead

Lustrous spring! Oh burning bright

All the shades of brown on his head

The sage green of the ribbon in her hair

The green of a fresh apple from a tree

The olive of her dress

The sapphire of the ocean

The warm, inky azure of the skies

The green in his eyes.

The colors of his eyes.

Those eyes.







"And every breath we drew was Hallelujah"- Leonard Cohen

A Lil' Mean


Your eyes are gray, so blue so green
A facet of colors I see
But you HAVE to argue with me
You're so stubborn. A lil mean.
And I like your hair.
Cause it makes me stare
But you're just a little mean.
Shut up or I'll seduce you
And such BAD thing's I'll do
Cos I'm just a lil mean
But I admit it
That I'm evil.. A BIT!
But you don't. Cause you're mean

We like pecans and I like beans
I'll handcuff you to the bed
Tug the hair on your head
Cos I think I like being mean
I'll make you say my name
Just watch me, and you're to blame
For every horny lil dream
Yes you are handsome
But you're being a dumb dumb
But its better than being mean.
I don't feel very decent
I feel like a penguin for some reason
Its you. It's you being mean

You Jade me, and you make me dream
With the way you nuzzle my neck
I try to keep my self in check
But you have to go and be a lil mean
And make me say your name
Yeah I know it sounds lame
But you know we're an awesome team
Anubis and pecan butter
Cupcakes and give me weird flutters
And you don't really like whipped cream
We'll go to The Gully and be bad
And I'll give you the best time you had
Cause you know I'm a lil mean
And we're both just a lil mean.


Friday, April 02, 2010

You whore.


Come.. and go
That's what you do.
He's a pawn of your game
It's always the same
You're talented, you know how to woo

Play mind games all day
It's what you like.
Confuse him, berate him
I feel sorry he's so dim
But I was too, until your strike

Go on your knees
I know you are skilled
He must be loving it
Oh maybe you're using your tits
To have your carnality fulfilled

Moan his name
It's his favorite sound
During your bed time
I know it used to be mine
When it was me, not him, around.

So tell me, is he
Another one night stand?
Maybe you want him for two days?
Or just until your lust abates?
But I know you don't give a damn.

I pity the fool
You are fucking right now
He must be so thrilled
Because you love to get drilled
And then, you'll break the vow

Do you stroke his hair
Like you used to do to mine
He must moan at your touch
Does his hands claw and clutch
At your marvelous deceptive design?

My heart beat used to race
To a degree of near death
Does it happen to him too?
Do you get deja vu?
When it reminds you of me when he draws breath?

Do you still smile innocently
And tease him like you did
To me, when it was us?
Do you still make a fuss
And drive him as well, wild?

I have never regretted
Anything more
Than wasting my time
Thinking you are mine
When you slammed the door

I do not care
You're a cold hearted bitch
That's all I have to say
Because of the way
You dumped me into a ditch

I hope he continues
To fuck you good
Because that's all you want
I'll remain nonchalant
While you claim to be misunderstood

I pity him sometimes
But I pity you more
For all what you have done
While you have your fun
By tomorrow you'll be gone for sure

Was it your fake sob stories
Or your well contrived lies
That made him fall for you?
Does he believe you'll stay true?
Does he see the wench you are in your eyes?

You do what you do
Kick him also to the floor
Like a burnt end of a ciggarette
But my only, sad regret
Is that I ever loved a whore