Roofies IV: Cultural Crap

This  was something that was circulating in my head for quite a while now, but I never got around to putting it down on paper, until it was spurred on by a conversation I had with a certain individual at 3 am today.

Sex = Taboo.

But why?
Our people are hush hush about sex and it's a tabooed topic. No one talks of it and the very vague mention of it is enough to elicit a "Budu ammo" from people. I, for one believe that tabooing this is the main problem. It is, in fact, the root cause of many problems.

Okay, let's take for instance that fact that we have neglected sex education in our public school system. Why? Because it's a "naraka" topic. Wouldn't including Sex Ed in our education system mean that less girls are vulnerable to rape and such? And when such an instance occurs, they would be informed and knowing what to do and what steps to take? Keeping children informed of these matters would mean that boys and girls alike would in fact be diligent before doing anything. It's the lack of information that makes people curious. If one was to be informed, curiosity melts to a certain degree.

The continued choke hold pertaining to sex and other matters(specially on girls) would definitely mean dire consequences. Witness the suicidal death of a girl months previously. It was the conservative strange of the parents, fueled by the death grip of the school's conservativeness that led to such a tragedy. People wonder why my school has so many lesbians [yes I admit it myself]. There's nothing to wonder when the school is SO set in their "Sinhala Buddhist" ways that a girl is not even allowed to LOOK at a boy. What does this do? Like I said, curiosity occurs and these girls want to know things since they are uninformed? They have no boys to turn to, so they turn to girls. Is it any wonder?

This is especially true in rural communities. A young, uninformed couple turn to each other to explore their curiosity and what happens? Likely that the girl winds up pregnant with an unwanted child and the boy is sent off to work somewhere, far far away from the girl. Isn't it better to give exposure than risk this?
For those of living here in Colombo, we do not see this much because our parents are open minded and are slow to judge us. Even so, the issue still persists.

Next, let us say that girl A and boy X were "having an affair". Somewhere along the line, they decide to take a step towards the physical aspect of their relationship. Let us say that both A and X were informed about the implications and complications of sex and have decided on contraception. They are working diligently thus far right?

Now comes the catch. WHERE in this country can a girl step into a drug store and ask for a morning after pill freely? Where will such a girl NOT receive a glare? In which part of the country would the person behind the counter think "Oh my God, what a slut".

Why? Why is it so? Because our culture has made people too judgmental for their own good. And because of this, the populace is a GLORIFIED tribute to hypocrisy. Isn't it better to have safe sex and not get pregnant? Why is that contraception is not available to the public sans taboo?

Omg, she's a not a virgin = Omg she's a slut

Yes, it is true. We all know this. Our people think that just because a girl isn't a virgin, it makes her a slut. JUDGEMENTAL MUCH?. What about rape then? Does one shun a rape victim as a slut too? People need to buy pocket dictionaries. A slut is the term used for a woman who sleeps around with many men. One girl who has had many boyfriends is not a slut. Our little Sri Lankan boys, they learn words like "bitch" or "slut" or "whore" and use it on girls who have had 3 boyfriends and such. OMG, yes, she had three shitty relationships, she's a slut. *cue roll eyes*

And this whole player thing. One guy cannot flirt with several girls at a given time. He is henceforth banded a "player". I mean, seriously, people need to get their definitions straight for once!

Coming to this whole virginity thing, there is something that pisses me off very much. There are certain types of guys out there who sleep around with as much women as possible and then expect to marry a virgin. Let me tell you something buddy, stop being such a ducking hypocrite. If you sleep around, expect to marry a woman who has done the same. Why should one be setting his standards so high that not even he himself can't reach it?

Our culture taboos someone who is not a virgin. This is the worst thing to do seeing how virginity is not a measure of a woman or a man. It does not define their persona. Some of you might be confused. I do not say encourage promiscuity. I say encourage people not to be judgmental. I don't say it's okay to sleep around with everyone. I just say that if one does have sex, he or she shouldn't be made to feel as if their life is over [unless they end up with AIDS which literally means death].


The Perfect Family.

The typical hypocritical conversation goes:

Mrs A: Ammooo, do you know about Mrs. C's son?
Mrs B: Why why what happened?
Mrs A: Don't say I told this okay? That boy failed his OLs no
Mrs B: You don't say!
Mrs A: Yes men! It's the truth.
Mrs B: Anyway Mrs C's daughter, did you see what she was wearing that day?
Mrs A: Budu ammo! Her skirt was so short!
Mrs B: I'm of course not surprised. The mother and father are always fighting no.
Mrs A: And the father is always out at dinner parties no.
Mrs B: Yes men! The mother is the same
Mrs A: Wonder how much that saree she wore cost no?


Does this sound familiar? There is SO MUCH WRONG in the above conversation that I can't even begin to state them down in an orderly fashion. Firstly, people need to learn to mind their own business. So Mrs C's son failed an exam. It's Mrs C's concern, no elses. So, a child has divorced parents. It's their problem, not anyone elses. I cannot comprehend why people cannot mind their own business.

The fact of the matter is that our culture makes us judgmental and this is hypocrisy, specially if one is a Buddhist and is true to the religion.

Some of you might say that I am hypocrite. I said that I am not judgmental and you might say that I am being judgmental by thinking like this about our culture. To those who think that, please allow me to be clear. Being judgmental is when one is set in their ways and are not likely to change, stating what they believe is right and berating people who don't follow the same values.

This, what I have penned, is a voicing of my volatile personal opinion. Please not the word "personal". Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Having said that, it is why I don't judge people for being conservative or promiscuous. It is purely their choice. I have my personal opinion on the issues, but it does not mean that I am right. However, it is my personal opinion. And as I said, it's a volatile opinion. Opinions are subject to change easily rather than judgment. Who know when this stated opinion of mine would change?

I am not saying that we should don armor and try to change the culture of our country. Our culture is rich and is bursting with diversity and I love certain aspects of our culture. However, everything has a good and a bad. I as an individual do not agree with the uber-conservative nature of our culture, but I very much appreciate how much our culture has influenced me, specially in terms of creativity.

I am not stating that we should change things and battle it out and make this another USA. I am saying that if everyone who are set in their ways opened their minds a little, our country would be an easier place to live in. This goes to people at BOTH extremes, not just one.

But hey.. this is just my opinion on things :)