Something Deeper.

She was the smallest girl of her age that he had ever seen. She was eighteen years old and she could easily pass off as a sixth grade child except she was mature in her features.
When he stared at her, he could not fathom why he dated her. Being the gallant guy he is, he was not one to make her cry and leave her because she was small. As much as it took strength to hold on, he could not bring his heart to feel that excitement he knew that the inklings of love brought.

Love makes you want to sing doesn't it? Doesn't it make you want to write odes to your lady's hair and make a fool of you? Why didn't he feel these things? Why was he confused? Why was the only time he remotely felt happy was when he was with his friend Haley? She confused him. She trully did.

They were lying in bed. A night of pointless, useless lovemaking after which he felt exhausted. She couldn't please him. Her body was too small to incorporate him and it affected their movement. He felt embarassed to admit it. He couldn't even feel remotely stimulated let along reach an orgasmic peak. Why so? Why was this so difficult?

He talked to Haley. He didn't feel too bad now. Her stream of babble he found to be entertaining and the more she insisted that her glasses were ugly, the more stubborn he was in maintaing that she looked perfectly gorgeous in them. They talked about a lot of things, comparing music tastes and so on, linking each other videos and then intellectually talking about the many plus points and minus points. He felt that there was a piece of sanity, and that was Haley. His friend who kept him functioning within the whirpool mess of his relationship.

Another night in bed. Again and again he tried until he finally gave up. She could not please him and this frustrated him. He clawed at his head in pent up anger while she slept, completely unaware of the way his life was falling apart. He was stuck with a girl who could gratify him mentally nor physically. Far from gratification, she simply messed with his mind. He couldn't figure out what he felt for her, only that he didn't love her. That much, he was sure. No, love couldn't feel this terrible. Love wouldn't mess him up so. He knew that for sure. He just wanted to part ways but he could see no way out. He didn't want to upset her by leaving her because he wasn't a breaker of hearts. No, he couldn't do that, He needed a way out. He would confess these problems to no one so he was given little comfort. The time he felt alright was when he was away from her, away from everything that reminded him of her.

A third night of lovemaking. Only, according to what they were doing it, love was the last emotion involved. It was painful to him in an unphysical sense. It was unbearable and half the time she kissed him, he wanted to get to bed and run far away.

The night slowly turned into dawn. Still no pleasure. Sure, she might be ecstatic, but wasn't lovemaking a mutual thing? Thoughts whizzed in his head as dawn became noon. Noon went on to dusk. Dusk turned into night and night turned again into dawn. More than a day in bed with her and he gained to pleasure. Surely, either of their bodies would have given in now! No. It wearied him. He felt incompetent because he could gain no pleasure from her. He felt guilty. It was nerve wracking and sad to see the way things fell apart.

Hours upon hours of trying, he knew he was close. He closed his eyes, wating for that rushing orgasmic ebb to hit it and when it did, it was Haley's name that escaped his mouth. It was Haley's face that filled his head while another girl was lying on top of him. It was only after he had said "Haley!' several times that he realised what he had said. Needless to say, that was the infallible ending of that relationship.

He was relieved, and then he was happy. He was more than anything, confused. Why, why had he said Haley? He barely knew her. They have known each other for a short while. Maybe, the deeper vagaries of the heart are unseen by common eyes and common sense? No. He puzzled over this matter for days. He decided he needed to see her, to talk to Haley and to figure out what happened, It was embarassing, but he knew she would understand. She was a wonderful person like that.

He waited patiently. She was supposed to meet him so that they could talk and figure things out. He wanted an explanation for what happened. He just needed to rationalize his thoughts in his mind.

During that day, somewhere in between sharing sodas and cupcakes, her lovely-gray blue eyes found his as she said his name softly. It was like a supernova inside him. A wonderfully cataclysmic tremor shook his very soul and he knew. He knew at once. This was love. Nothing less. Just pure, untainted love in it's blossming, budding form. He cupped her chin and kissed her. not wanting to neglect the feeling inside and as his hand moved to her neck, he felt her delicate pulse fluttering wildly against his fingers. He couldn't help but smile knowing that he made her heart race and then his realised that his own heart was hammering against his ribs in mantric happiness. He wanted to sing, he wanted to hold her and tell her that she was amazing, he could see her face in lovely planes and valleys. He kissed her again, kissing her forehed. All these attributes he could see and he wondered why he couldn't see them before. He loved this girl and he was certain she felt the same. When he looked at her, her sparkling eyes were answer enough. Why didn't he see it all this time?

Maybe, the deeper vagaries of the heart are unseen by common eyes and common sense.....

Thank You for the story Rob and Hales. 

You two are great together :)